Too Bad I Don't Drink...

I know I've fallen of the map this past month, but I just couldn't bring myself to keep up with the social media. Sometimes it's more stress than it's worth. So, if y'all feel like I've been lame, I have good excuses. Or at least excuses.

First of all, I'm kind of crazy right now. And I mean that very literally. I struggle with Bi-Polar Disorder and OCD/OCPD. Suffice it to say, I have been pretty ill for the last four months. The end of February and beginning of March were particularly difficult and that left me barely functioning. Like in bed staring at the wall. I've had my meds adjusted, and that's screwing with me a bit, but hopefully it starts helping soon.

My February release didn't do well since I switched genres. I knew that might happen. Still, I wasn't mentally prepared for the disappointment. I started the second book in my adult series, but got 20,000 words in and realized that I actually needed to make money. So, I switched to one of my YA plots. Now I have two books that aren't even remotely close to done. It's stressing me out because I need to finish at least one of them by July.

Why, you ask? Drumroll...

I got a job. My first one out of the home in over ten years. My husband decided to make a drastic career change, which I totally support. But he wanted to be a teacher. So, we both had to take teaching jobs because no family of 7 can live off one teacher's salary. My husband's classroom experience is limited and I have zero. Needless to say there's quite a bit of anxiety over what to expect. It's a reputable secondary charter school, but this particular campus is brand new to our town. Like, the building is barely under construction. I'll be teaching PE, finally putting my coachig experience and rusty old college degree to use. Except there's one small problem. The gym and fields aren't going to be finished until Christmas. Even though school starts in the end of July. Did I metnion I was a PE teacher? Yeah...not sure how that'll work.

About three weeks ago, the exact same day we got our teaching contracts, my husband lost his job. With no warning and no clue it was coming. Sure, he was going to leave anyway, but not until July when our new jobs start. There's not really enough time for him to get an interim job and even if he could, he's decided that I'm too sick to leave alone. (Sadly, he's probably right about that.)

The plan is for him to stay home and take care of the kids/house. That way I can write and get my mental crap together before I start my new job. I'm super grateful for that, except now we have zero income until August, other than my book sales. Unfortunately, I don't make enough to pay all the bills. We have enough savings to get us by, but there wont be much left by the end of the summer. It's very depressing, because we've worked really hard to build it up.

To top it all off, the last two weeks have been spring break. Spring break = a crazy house. The hubbs and I spent last week on a Mexican Riviera cruise. Perfect timing, right? NOT! We'd booked it and paid for it (to celebrate our wedding anniversary) before he lost his job. At two weeks out, we couldn't get a refund. We weren't about to waste all that money, so we went, even though we're unemployed. It was hard not to feel guilty the entire time. Plus, you never realize how stressful vacations can be until you're on them. And I spent the entire last day barfing due to motion sickness.

Just for kicks, because it's like adding insult to injury, I got suckered into coaching my six year old's soccer team today. I'm not good with little kids in mass quantities. But they didn't have enough help. I couldn't say no.

Okay. Let's sum up. I have part of two books finished instead of one. My husband lost his job, but already has another one lined up and we have enough money saved to stay afloat until it starts. He gets to pick up all my housewife responsibilities for the next three months so I can do nothing but write. Starting in July, we will work together, at the same school our older kids attend (which is within walking distance from our house) doing jobs we will probably love. Also we get to spend quality time with our son on the soccer field and had a dope tropical, beachy vacation. Gees! When I say it like that, it doesn't sound so bad.

Moral of my story: despite the fact that I'm virtually insane right now, and things seem crappy, I'm still pretty blessed. And if there's one of my books you haven't read, now would be a good time. I pretty much need the money. ;-)

If you've read this far, thanks for listening. xoxo